Thursday, May 23, 2013

On a Day Like Today

It's been a looooong hard day of wrestling the coffee pot, darting around like a maniac in an attempt to appeal to some very small but tough critics. Nap time is just a god damn, hot mess, and you didn't even shower until you realized that also hadn't showered yesterday. It was time. You look at the clock periodically throughout the day and think to yourself "I wish this day would just end already! ARRRG!" but then you realize that it's only 8:45AM and your living room looks like ground zero because it hasn't been cleaned in nearly a fortnight! Finally after what feels like a century, the sun begins to set and you begin to fiendishly plan... Bedtime.

The mind is a wonderful tool for conjuring up all sorts of wild and exotic notions and ideas. For example: If I can just- Fold a load of laundry, unload the groceries, do a pass on every room of the house, vacuum the bedrooms, do the dishes (Which is never just "the dishes" by the way, and always includes, er, cleaning the whole fucking kitchen from top to bottom.), get both babes fed, bathed and down by 8PM, THEN by 8:15 I might just have an hour before the spouse gets home to pull THIS off!-


SO. You totally get that load of laundry did, unload those groceries, tidy up every single room of the house, run around with a vacuum cleaner in hopes of picking up something along the way and clean the whole fucking kitchen!

Now it's time for negotiations...

The big kid, at 2.5 years old, is smart. Too smart, really. She got me early and she got me quickly. The deal was that she would go to bed with no tears, fighting, screaming for wall pounding for the small price of being able to take her chocolate almond milk to bed. I didn't even blink when I agreed. Its a small price to pay for and hour of "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh" after a day like today. The little one, at a weenie 5 months, still has much to learn. She got breast milk. Which is not even close to chocolate almond milk if you ask me. Afterwards, she just laid there and stared at me as if we were having some sort of Mexican Standoff. To which I responded "Puh-lease, girlfriend!" and promptly placed her in her cozy little bed where little weenie 5 month olds belong at night.
Master of BEDTIME!

Then I finally showered for the fist time that day (and the day before)... and then...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-SHIT, I heard the garage door opening. The spouse is home early tonight. Early? Rare, as it only happens on the "Ahhhhhhhhh" evenings for some reason. At any rate, I shared my sushi like a nice young lady should and also told him where I hid the good ice cream. That ought to teach him to come home early.

It can also be argued that my husband has a substantially more relaxed personality than I have ever been, and so I have no problem at all readjusting my views for one evening. I suppose I'm feeling a little better about today...

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